What Boomers Don't Know about Love & Marriage

Last evening, my mate and I were having dinner out when she noticed a couple, at a table behind me, who were separately and silently reading during their meal; she a book and he a newspaper.  

Terri L. Orbuch, Ph.D., "The Love Doctor," would tell them (to be happy in their marriage) wives need emotional connection, including talking regularly with their husbands about their emotions, their relationship and sharing a team-like approach to household activities.  This time of connection, say over dinner at the end of the day, matters to women.  Yes, husbands don't want a lot of relationship talk.  However, when husbands take time to listen to their wife and respond in affective affirmation, the "mood" of the marriage can dramatically change for the better.

There is so much we don't know, we don't know, about the science of becoming happy couples.  That is why a new book by Dr. Orbuch, based upon her federally-funded research study of married couples, is a necessary read for boomers who wish to seize the moment and make their marriage exceptional.

"5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great" is full of "do you knows" that can change your perceptions from myths to proven facts, separate tips for both men and women, as well as important findings from Dr. Orbuch's ongoing long-term study of marriages detailing what works and doesn't work for couples to be happy.

Yes, men are from Mars and women from Venus and bound to collide as Dr. John Gray has told us.  And because we genders think differently, we seem to speak different languages. 

For instance, Helen R. Weingarten and Elizabeth Douvan, both psychologists from the University of Michigan, observed that men and women ask different questions when they problem solve.  When problem solving, women will ask you what you mean?  They are focused on the underlying emotional reasons why you did what you did.  It is difficult for most men to speak clearly about the emotions behind their actions--such as telling someone how they felt.  In contrast, the man will ask her where is this going?  Men's problem solving is very task oriented and focused on the future implications of the discussion.

Can old boomers lighten up, understand the other gender's language and focus on new, positive elements to boost marital happiness?

Just as they have been setting new trends in every stage of their lives, boomers will continue to do so as they head into their best years.  With greater freedom to explore exciting experiences and places, they hope to enjoy these new adventures side-by-side with a loving partner.  Dr. Orbuch's new book is an excellent travel guide to take along on these new journeys

 Terri L. Orbuch: 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great