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The benefits of having a positive, involved father are well documented by decades of research.
Now, scholars are focusing their microscopes on an obstacle to fathers' involvement: "gatekeeping" by mothers who control or hamper fathers' interactions with their children.
Of course, fathers are free to choose their level of involvement. But negative gatekeeping by mothers--grimaces or criticism when men try to change a diaper or feed or play with a baby--can block out even fathers who believe they should be involved, says a 2008 study in the Journal of Family Psychology, led by Dr. Sarah Schoppe-Sullivan.
It's usually moms who do the gatekeeping, but they're not always to blame. Some fathers invite interference by hanging back or being irritable or anxious. In other cases, women aren't conscious of their gatekeeping. Some women whose sense of identity is strongly tied to being a mother may fend off help in order to bolster their self-image, research shows. Others are simply inclined by nature to bond closely; caring for a baby may be so engrossing for these women that they crowd out dads, says a 2008 study in the journal Family Process.
The bottom line: Simply becoming conscious of gatekeeping and its hazards equips some couples to avoid it.
Source: The Wall Street Journal, June 17, 2009
